When two people or parties agree to disagree, they both decide not to argue anymore; for two people to calmly agree that they are not going to reach an agreement or share the same views, and thus they should stop arguing and move on.
This idiom is used when two parties both understand that further argument will not be productive or that neither wishes to argue any longer.
It is often stated that the idiom reflects, thus, a decision to tolerate one another’s positions. This is often the case but the main thrust of the expression is a mutual decision not to argue or discuss the issue, rather than to agree to not condemn the other person’s position.
“Agree to Disagree” vs. “Beg to Differ” (and “Agree to Differ”)
While both expressions are polite ways to handle conflicting opinions, they serve very different conversational roles:
- Agree to Disagree (The Truce): Used at the end of a debate or conversation. Both parties recognize an impasse and mutually decide to drop the topic and remain civil.
- Beg to Differ (The Challenge): Used at the beginning or in the middle of a discussion to politely state opposition before presenting an alternative argument.
What About “Agree to Differ”?
Search engines and dictionaries occasionally list “agree to differ” as an accepted variant. Much like “beg to disagree,” this awkward phrase is almost certainly an accidental blend of agree to disagree and beg to differ. While readily understood, agree to disagree remains the standard, natural idiom in modern English.
Origin of Agree to Disagree
This idiom was used in print as early as 1608 in a work called The Protestants Apology for the Roman Church Divided Into Three Several Tracts, by James Anderton writing under the pseudonym of John Brereley:
And as our learned adversaries do thus agree to disagree in their owne translations, mutually condemning (as before) each other..
The full modern meaning was used by the latter half of the 1700s.
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Sentence Examples
“Let’s just agree to disagree. We’re never going to see eye to eye on politics!”
“The two countries had always enjoyed a good friendship, but on this issue, they had to agree to disagree.”
“We love the same kind of movies but when it comes to food, we have to agree to disagree. I hate sushi and that’s all she ever wants to eat!”
Similar and Related Idioms
- To Each Their Own: An expression acknowledging that everyone has different personal tastes, preferences, and choices, none of which are inherently wrong.
- Different Strokes for Different Folks: A colloquial proverb emphasizing that different people are pleased by or require different things.
- Whatever Floats Your Boat: A casual, often playful idiom meaning do whatever makes you happy, even if others wouldn’t choose it.
- I See It Another Way: A diplomatic conversational pivot stating a differing perspective without directly attacking the other person’s view.
- Beg to Differ: A polite, formal phrase used to introduce an opposing viewpoint or direct disagreement.