A backhanded compliment is an ambiguous statement that seems to be or is intended to be a compliment but is actually critical and could be seen as an insult; an insult disguised as praise.
When someone pays you a backhanded compliment, they are actually being condescending.
Also: Left-handed Compliment
What Does “Backhanded” Mean?
Because the word is so heavily tied to the phrase “backhanded compliment,” people frequently wonder what backhanded actually means on its own.
While it is not a true “fossil word” (because it is still used literally in sports, like a backhanded stroke in tennis), its figurative use is almost entirely restricted to describing compliments or apologies.
When used figuratively to describe a statement, backhanded means indirect, devious, equivocal, or sarcastic. The meaning comes directly from the physical act of a “backhanded slap”, a strike delivered with the back of the hand. A physical backhand is often sudden, dismissive, and unexpected. Therefore, a “backhanded” comment operates the exact same way: it is an unexpected, dismissive emotional slap disguised as normal conversation.
Origin of “Backhanded Compliment”
The exact origin of the phrase “backhanded compliment” is difficult to pin down to a single author, but it emerged in the mid-to-late 1800s as a natural extension of how people were using the word “backhanded” in everyday slang.
During the 19th century, the term backhanded began to shift from a purely physical description (like a sudden strike or a stroke in a racquet sport) into a figurative adjective. By the late 1800s, it was commonly used in print to describe anything that was oblique in meaning: indirect, devious, equivocal, ambiguous, or sarcastic.
Once that figurative meaning was established in the cultural lexicon, pairing it with the word “compliment” was a perfect, poetic way to describe an insult that arrives from an unexpected, deceitful angle, disguised as praise.
What is a “Left-Handed” Compliment? (The Sinister Connection)
A left-handed compliment is the exact same thing as a backhanded compliment. However, the origin of this specific variation reveals a fascinating, and deeply unfair, historical superstition.
For centuries, left-handedness was heavily stigmatized in Western culture. The prejudice goes all the way back to ancient Rome. In Latin, the word for “left” or “on the left side” was literally sinister. Because the vast majority of the population was right-handed, anything on the left side was viewed with suspicion and eventually became associated with evil, bad luck, or deceit.
By the 1600s, the English adjective “left-handed” was widely used as a metaphor for anything questionable, awkward, or insincere. For example, an illegitimate child was sometimes referred to as a “left-handed” child, and a fake promise was a “left-handed oath.” This is also the origin of the superstitious action of throwing a pinch of salt over one’s left shoulder to ward off the devil who may well be lurking there!
Therefore, a left-handed compliment is one that is twisted, “sinister,” and delivered with deceptive intentions.
Is it a “Backhanded” or “Underhanded” Compliment?
If you have heard someone use the phrase “underhanded compliment,” you have witnessed a classic linguistic mix-up in real time. While people use it to mean the exact same thing as a backhanded compliment, it is technically an accidental mashup of two different concepts.
Here is why this specific confusion happens so frequently:
- The Shared Deceit: Both “backhanded” and “underhanded” are adjectives describing physical arm motions that eventually evolved into metaphors for deceitful behavior.
- Backhanded (The Disguise): A backhanded comment is an insult disguised as praise: A sudden, unexpected emotional strike.
- Underhanded (The Secret): The word underhanded means sneaky, secretive, or acting with sly, hidden motives (originating from throwing an object underhand, where the grip and release are somewhat hidden from an opponent’s view).
Because both words deal with sneaky behavior, our brains easily swap them. While an “underhanded compliment” isn’t a formally recognized idiom in standard dictionaries, it is a very common modern malaphor that native speakers will immediately understand.
Television and Movie Citations
Because backhanded compliments are inherently passive-aggressive, movie and television scripts use them to create tension, deliver polite insults, or show characters awkwardly trying to mask their true feelings.
- The Literal Pun: In the romantic comedy Easy Virtue (2008), a character makes a brilliant, literal play on words while playing tennis: “Nice backhand!” / “Is that a backhanded compliment?”
- The Polite Insult: In the adventure series The Lost World (2002), a character tries to soften a harsh critique of someone’s skills, resulting in a classic backhanded remark: “Well, you may not be much of a cook, but the effort is certainly appreciated.” / “What kind of backhanded compliment is that?”
- The Softened Rejection: In the film Ek Main Aur Ekk Tu (2012), a character uses a backhanded compliment to try and make a breakup sound flattering: “As of now, I don’t want to be with anyone. Not even if it’s as wonderful a person as you are.” / “Another backhanded compliment.”
- The Grudging Endorsement: In And So It Goes (2014), an incredibly cynical character delivers praise in the most negative way possible: “I like you, and I don’t like anybody.” / “Oh, I see. Is this one of your backhanded compliments?” / “Take it however you want. I’m just stating a fact.”
- The Ambiguous Observation: In Lake Effects (2012), a statement is made that sits perfectly on the line between praise and insult, forcing the listener to ask for clarification: “Well, you were always ambitious.” / “Is that a backhanded compliment?” / “No, it’s just a statement.”
- The Reputation Contrast: In the teen drama Skins (2011), a character highlights someone’s negative history before praising their current behavior: “You’ve got quite a rep, but you’re actually pretty sound.” / “Backhanded compliment, but I’ll take it.”
Similar Idioms and Related Idioms
Damn With Faint Praise
Add Insult To Injury
If the Shoe Fits, Wear It