Meaning of Idiom ‘Damned If You (or I) Do, Damned If You Don’t’
When someone says damned if you do, damned if you don’t, they mean that one will be criticized no matter what one does; a situation you can’t win; whatever option you choose will be the wrong one; one will be considered wrong not matter what one does.
Sentence Examples
“America is expected to come to the aid of every country but whenever it does, it is criticized for interfering. We’re damned if we do, damned if we don’t.”
“NOTHING in recent years epitomises foreign policy’s “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” dilemma more bloodily than Syria.” — The Economist, May 18, 2013
“But it’s also a damned if you do, damned if you don’t situation, especially for women: they are shunned if they have surgery, and shunned if they show any signs of aging.” — The Guardian, July 11, 2016
“Germans aren’t used to being kicked in the shins by those who are also shaking the tin cup, and yet as their American allies could tell them, this is the price of leadership: it’s damned if you do, damned if you don’t.” — The New York Times, March 17, 2012
Origin
This phrase is attributed to a number of protestant Christian preachers, including Lorenzo Dow, Edward Sprague, and Charles Grandison Finney. It also appears attributed to unnamed preachers in various publications. Often, it appears at the end of the following sequence:
You can and you can’t,
You shall and you shan’t,
You will and you won’t,
And you will be damned if you do,
And you will be damned if you don’t,
This quotation and variations of it appear often enough that it is doubtful that the phrase can be certain to have come from any of the particular preachers often named.
Most of the writings in which these quotes appear are a criticism of preachers who teach contradicting ideas from the Bible, or, indeed, point out such contradictions, thus confusing their congregations. One such idea is that one must repent but must not ‘try’ to repent. In other words, to just ‘try’ to repent is a sin in the Eyes of God, damning one. One must simply repent. But how can one repent without actually trying? This seeming contradiction leads to the conclusion ‘you are damned if you do and damned if you don’t.'”
See wordhistories for more detail.
