To bite the hand that feeds you means to attack, harm, show ingratitude toward, or otherwise turn against someone who is helping you.
Also used: Never bite the hand that feeds you
Sentence Examples
“People say you shouldn’t criticize your employer because you’ll be biting the hand that feeds you. It’s you who does the work, so who really feeds who?”
“I cannot stand this client, said Ed, I’m going to tell him to stop being such a pain!” “Don’t bite the hand that feeds you,” said Chris. Our prince pays for your chair in this university. His relics pay for your chair. — Luther (2004)
We’ve got too many Hispanic advertisers. Are we still a news organization, or are we the Home Shopping Network now?” “Chris, don’t bite the hand that feeds you, which happens to include Hispanic advertisers. — The Second Civil War (1997)
“If I were you I’d show up for practice on time. You’re here on a sports scholarship, so don’t bite the hand that feeds you.”
“I know you’re frustrated with your parents’ rules, but they are paying your full tuition; don’t bite the hand that feeds you before you’ve even graduated.”
“The city council is threatening to tax the tech giant that provides 60% of the local jobs, but many residents worry they are biting the hand that feeds them.”
“As a social media influencer, if you constantly insult the platforms that host your content, you might find yourself biting the hand that feeds you.”
“He complained about the quality of the free meal his neighbor cooked, and I had to remind him not to bite the hand that feeds him.”
“His problem is he’s a prima donna. He finally has a gallery interested in displaying his paintings and he turned around and bit the hand that feeds him. He actually insulted the other art!”
“I was told I should only talk about policy that would draw corporate donors, otherwise I’d be biting the hand that feeds me. Well, I don’t work for corporations, I work for the people!”
The Origin of Don’t Bite the Hand that Feeds You: Concept vs. Coinage
When tracing the history of “don’t bite the hand that feeds you,” it is important to distinguish between the concept of the metaphor and the coinage of the English idiom.
The Ancient Concept: Aesop’s Fables
The “spiritual” origin of this phrase is undoubtedly found in ancient folklore, most notably in Aesop’s Fables (specifically the story of The Gardener and His Dog). In the fable, a dog falls into a well; when the gardener reaches down to save him, the panicked dog bites his hand.
While the dog’s reaction was born of fear, the lesson—that it is a grave mistake to harm the one person trying to help you, is exactly the sentiment of the modern idiom.
The Modern Coinage: Joseph Addison (1711)
While the idea is over 2,500 years old, the specific English wording we use today didn’t appear until much later. The first documented “receipt” for the phrase comes from the writer Joseph Addison in a 1711 edition of The Spectator. Addison noted that it was already a “common saying” in his time, using it to criticize political parties that turned against their supporters.
Why We Get the Origins Wrong
It is a common mistake to assume that because a metaphor appears in an ancient story, that story is the “source” of the idiom. In reality, idioms are rarely “invented” by a single author. Instead:
- Concepts are universal and can be found in ancient texts like those of Aesop or even fragments attributed to Sappho.
- Idioms are specific linguistic “labels” that usually evolve much later as a way to summarize those old stories.
Just because an ancient writer described a dog biting its master doesn’t mean they “wrote” the idiom; it just means they observed a truth about human nature that we eventually turned into a catchy phrase.
The idea of the ‘ungrateful dog’ is over 2,500 years old, often linked to Aesop’s Fables. While you may see some sources attribute the specific phrase to the poet Sappho, there is no historical record of her writing it. The first time we see the modern English wording is in 1711, when Joseph Addison described it as a well-known proverb of his time.”
The 1711 Citation: Joseph Addison, writing in The Spectator (No. 125, Tuesday, July 24, 1711), used the phrase to describe political ingratitude.
The Quote: “It is a melancholy consideration, that our party divisions and animosities… should have so far prevailed among us… that it is become a common saying, ‘One should not bite the hand that feeds them.'”
A Note on Attribution
It is tempting to look at a writer like Joseph Addison and credit him with “inventing” the idiom in 1711. However, it is just as likely that Addison was simply reaching for a metaphor he had heard a hundred times in London coffeehouses—perhaps one originally inspired by the very Aesop fables he read as a child.
In the world of etymology, we often credit the first person to write a phrase down, but that doesn’t make them the creator. Conversely, we shouldn’t credit Aesop with the idiom just because he shared the concept; he provided the “seed,” but the “fruit” (the idiom) grew in the mouths of common speakers over centuries. We may never know who first uttered the exact English words, and that is part of the mystery of language.
It is often said assumed that Shakespeare invented every expression he ever used out of thin air. The idea that a writer would use phrases that his audience would never understand defies common logic. The same, of course, is true of any other writer, not just Shakespeare. So, remember, when we say that an idiom first appeared in print at a certain date, we are not asserting that the writer invented it. That’s why it was important for me to include the exact quote from Addison, above. In this case, the writer actually noted that it was already a common saying!
The Oral Tradition Gap: Most idioms live in spoken language for decades (or even centuries) before a writer thinks to put them in a book or newspaper.
The “Survivor Bias”: We only know what Addison wrote because his work was preserved. For all we know, a hundred other writers used it in letters that ended up in fireplaces.
Note on Origin Myths: You may notice a pattern where many popular English idioms, including Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop, are frequently attributed to “nautical” origins or ancient poets. This happens because humans love a good story; it’s much more exciting to imagine a sailor in a bunk bed or an ancient poet than a 17th-century political essayist or a 19th-century apartment dweller. Whenever you see a “nautical” origin for an idiom, it’s worth looking for the actual “receipts” in print! I call this “the conspiracy to assign a nautical origin to every idiom.” And, no, I didn’t coin that!
Similar Idioms to “Don’t Bite the Hand That Feeds You”
- Don’t Look a Gift Horse in the Mouth: Do not criticize, find fault with, or question the value of a gift. Also, do not question the actions of someone who is helping you.
- Cut Off Your Nose to Spite Your Face: To cut off your nose to spite your face means to do something in anger, such as to hurt someone, that will hurt yourself in the process. Often expressed as a warning: “Don’t cut off your (own) nose to spite your face.”
- Burn Your Bridges: to burn your bridges means to destroy or ruin a relationship so completely that you can never go back to that person for help again. This idiom often refers to souring a relationship with an employer when leaving a job, so that you can never return to the place of employment. It is based on the literal military mistake of destroying one’s only path to escape or retreat, such as by burning the only bridge that would allow you to turn back.
- Kill the Goose That Lays the Golden Eggs: Also from Aesop’s fables, to kill the goose that lays the golden eggs means to destroy something that is profitable or beneficial out of greed or impatience.
- Don’t Throw Out the Baby with the Bathwater: To throw out the baby with the bathwater means to discard something useful, essential, or important because you want to get rid of something undesired or negative; to lose valuable ideas or aspects because you want to get rid of certain things you don’t want; always expressed as something one should not do.