The idiom ‘know where one stands’ takes two forms, ‘to know where one stands with someone’ and ‘to know where one stands on something.’
Meaning of Idiom ‘Know Where You Stand’
1. To know where you stand with someone means to know how they regard you, feel about you, or perceive you; to understand your position relative to others; to understand how others regard you; to know what is expected of you or what your responsibilities are in a situation. 1Ammer, Christine. American Heritage Dictionary of Idioms. Boston: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2013.,2“know where (one) stands.” Farlex Dictionary of Idioms. 2015. Farlex, Inc 8 Oct. 2024 https://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/know+where+(one)+stands,3Spears, Richard A. McGraw-Hill’s American Idioms Dictionary. Boston: McGraw Hill, 2008.,4Definition of know where you stand from the Cambridge Advanced Learner’s Dictionary & Thesaurus © Cambridge University Press
2. To know where you stand on something means to be aware of your opinion, attitude, or feelings about something; to be sure about how you feel about a certain issue. 5Ammer, Christine. American Heritage Dictionary of Idioms. Boston: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2013.,6“know where (one) stands.” Farlex Dictionary of Idioms. 2015. Farlex, Inc 8 Oct. 2024 https://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/know+where+(one)+stands
Sentence Examples
“I’m not going to bother visiting my father even if he is sick. I know where I stand with him.”
“What are my chances of getting this part? Where do I stand with the director?”
“After I had my accident, he didn’t even come to see me in the hospital so I know where i stand with him.”
“Where do you stand on the climate issue?”
“I’m not sure where I stand on the situation in the Middle East. It’s so very complicated.”
“I think you and me, we make a great couple.” “You know where I stand on this.” — The Bone Collector (1999)
“You can’t possibly wanna stay here for another five years.” “In here at least, I know where I stand.” — Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985)
“…I understand about commitment, and I love you more than anything. But you gotta know exactly where I stand, because absolutely nothing has changed.” — Mystic Pizza (1988)
“That’s the great thing about being goalie,you know? You always know where you stand. I just mind my business, take my place between the pipes.” — D3: The Mighty Ducks (1996)
Origin
The origin of this idiom is unclear. It has been used since at least the early 1900s and may be derived from an earlier idiom, ‘stand for something,’ which is based on a very old 1300s expression ‘stand for nothing.’ To stand for something is to advocate or support it. It is often used in a negative sense meaning to not tolerate something.
In the second meaning, above, to know where one stands means to know one’s position or opinion about it. If you advocate something then you ‘stand for it.’ Thus, to know where one stands may mean to ‘know what one stands for.’
The first meaning, which may be the most common, is similar, as it involves someone’s opinion of or feelings about another person, thus ‘where they stand on that person.’
