Also used: having this out
Meaning Of Idiom ‘Have It Out with Someone’
To have it out with someone means to have a serious talk with someone in order to settle and issue or dispute; to have an argument with someone or frankly discuss something they have done to make you angry with the goal of solving the problem’ to settle a dispute. 1,2,3
The idiom ‘have it out with someone’ is similar to ‘have a bone to pick with someone.’ When you have it out with someone, it is because of something they have done or are still doing. The idiom may also be applied to having a talk with someone you have been unable to get along with for a period of time, usually to clear the air and learn to get along.
Once you’ve had it out with someone it may be time to bury the hatchet.
Do not confuse ‘have it out with someone’ with the idiom ‘have it out (or in) for someone,’ with a very different meaning.
Sentence Examples
“It’s time I have it out with my roommate. I’ve had to pay his half of the rent three times this year.”
“I can’t stand Danny interrupting me every time I speak. I’m going to have it out with him and demand he show me some respect.”
“Shelly had it out with her boss over her overtime pay. He refused to pay her time and a half!”
“You know, we’ve been trying to avoid each other for weeks. This issue isn’t going to resolve itself. What do you say you and I have it out and be done with it?”
“So, uh, what will you say to Master Miles?” “I shall have it out with him later on. That can’t be avoided. But not now.” — The Innocents (1962)
“There’s that “Ity” music again! I’m having this out with him now!” — Breaking Away (1979)
“I’ll have it out with him after. I’ll tell him that I can’t go on.” — The Women (1939)
“I’ve lived my life with a hatred of that man and no way to get it out. Since there’s not much chance of me having it out with him, I guess you are the closest thing to it.” — A Family Thing (1996)
Origin
This idiom has been used since at least the early 1800s.
Charles Dickens used it in Nicholas Nickleby (1839):
“I shall double-lock myself in with him and have it out before I die.”
Have it out with someone is similar to and may be based on other expressions such as get it out, referring to getting the truth or an issue out in the open by speaking it verbally, and out with it, meaning ‘say what you want to say.’ It is unclear which of these idioms is earlier.
More Idioms Related to Arguments or Disagreements
References
- Ammer, Christine. American Heritage Dictionary of Idioms. Boston: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2013.
- Have it out definition, Collins Dictionary, https://www.collinsdictionary.com/us/dictionary/english/have-it-out
- Definition of have it out with someone from the Cambridge Advanced Learner’s Dictionary & Thesaurus © Cambridge University Press)