Give Someone the Cold Shoulder

Meaning of Idiom ‘Give Someone the Cold Shoulder’

To give someone the cold shoulder means to snub them or treat them with aloofness; to show no interest in someone or something; to be intentionally unfriendly toward someone; to shun or reject someone by ignoring them. 1Eric T. What does Giving Someone the Cold Shoulder Have to do With Food?. Culinary Lore. November 18, 2012 https://culinarylore.com/food-history:the-cold-shoulder/,2Heacock, Paul. Cambridge Dictionary of American Idioms]. Cambridge: Cambridge UP, 2010.,3Ayto, John. [http://amzn.to/2vdGvI7 Oxford Dictionary of English Idioms]. Oxford: Oxford U, 2010.,4Definition of give someone the cold shoulder in Collins English Dictionary. HarperCollins Publishers. https://www.collinsdictionary.com/us/dictionary/english/give-someone-the-cold-shoulder

The phrase ‘give someone the cold shoulder’ always uses the definite article ‘the’ instead of ‘a.’ We never say ‘Give someone a cold shoulder.’

The term cold shoulder is also used alone, as a verb, i.e. ‘to cold-shoulder someone.’

Sentence Examples

“I don’t know what I did. Sabrina has been giving me the cold shoulder all day.”

“The company gave the cold shoulder to the union’s demand for greater overtime pay.”

“I went by where I used to work to see some friends. Boy, my old boss sure gave me the cold shoulder. He was not happy to see me there.”

“Our country has been cold-shouldered by our own allies because of the president’s ridiculous behavior.”

“Not a single one of us is gonna get her. So then we go for her friends, but they will all give us the cold shoulder because nobody likes to be second choice.” — A Beautiful Mind (2002)

“You’ve made a major mistake, Wing Shing.” “What major mistake? The worst I could think of was giving the Mayor’s son the cold shoulder.” — The Legend Is Born: Ip Man (2010)

“What is this? I try to go say hello to Art, and he gives me the cold shoulder.” — The Yards (2000)

“But if you go back, it can do her nothing but harm. She’ll be cold-shouldered; suspected. The best she can hope for is to be allowed to see you before you’re shot.” — Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (1979)

Origin

The idiom ‘give someone the cold shoulder’  is commonly assumed to allude to looking over one’s shoulder at someone or turning one’s shoulder towards them. We might look over our shoulder with an angry glance at someone we do not like or have a quarrel with. Treating someone this way is treating them ‘coldly,’ thus, turning one’s back, keeping a shoulder between oneself and another, and giving them a disdainful glance over a turned shoulder is ‘giving them the cold shoulder.’

The expression was first recorded in The Antiquary by Sir Walter Scott (1816):

Ye may mind that the Countess’s dislike didna gang farther at first than just showing o’ the cauld shouther — at least it wana seen farther.

In modern English, this quote reads: “Realize that the Countess’s dislike did not go any farther at first than just showing the cold shoulder — at least that is all that was seen to occur.”

After this, the idiom was widely used by other authors, including Mark Twain, Louisa May Alcott, and Charles Dickens. Many were led to believe that Scott coined the idiom but it already existed before he used it.

Although this is frequently dismissed as folk etymology, the idiom may have come from a historical practice involving hospitality, or its lack. In Medieval times, it is said that when a guest became unwelcome in one’s home, perhaps because they had stayed too long and ‘worn out their welcome’ they might be served a cold shoulder of mutton by their host. In other words, they were served cold leftovers, or food normally reserved for household staff. Giving them the ‘cold shoulder (of mutton)’ was a way of telling them it was time to go their way.

There are some historical references to a connection between a dish of cold shoulder and our modern idiom, but these may simply have been humorous puns based on the existence of such a dish and the idiom itself.

However, the earliest reference to the idiom I could find, from 1808, referred to a dish of cold shoulder:

“The inhospitable landlord treats his uninvited visitor to a ‘cold’ shoulder.” — The Chester Chronicle (July 22, 1808)

While this origin is disputed, there is also no evidence to suggest that the idiom came from the human tendency to turn one’s back on someone when upset. For more discussion see Culinary Lore. 5Eric T. What does Giving Someone the Cold Shoulder Have to do With Food?. Culinary Lore. November 18, 2012 https://culinarylore.com/food-history:the-cold-shoulder/

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